Top 5 Tips for New Dads: Mom is #1!

As a first time dad, your toughest challenge is ahead but, at the same time, so is the absolute best time of your life. Being a parent is a gift that is not guaranteed so, regardless of the trials that come with it, enjoy it, be grateful for it and, most importantly, prepare for it. In order to do that, you'll have to know how to handle being a first time dad AND a husband to a first time mom! Mood swings will come and go so be ready for a roller coaster. I promise it'll all be worth it!

1. Although you'd think the baby is your first priority, in reality it's your wife
She's going to need you by her side for at least the first week or two. You should be there to comfort her and help her in any way you can. She may have mom, sister and best friend there but nothing compares to sharing the first few weeks (at least) of your lifetime as parents together. Post-partum depression is all too common and being there to share in the ups and downs of the first few weeks at home will help show your wife that parenthood is a team effort!

2. Always be preparedAs a mom in law enforcement, I have a small emergency bag in my patrol car. It carries all of the necessities I'll need in a true life gun battle. As parents in real life, my husband and I carry the same type of bag for our parent emergencies. It is a smaller version of our diaper bag with a diaper, wipes, rash cream, tissues, an extra pacifier, an extra outfit and some baby food or rice cereal. This ensures that, regardless of where I am, I'll be prepared. We have all run out of the house to make a quick grocery store or gas station trip. This won't change when you're a parent, other than you'll have a baby in the back seat that may decide now's the time to relieve him or herself. That's where having an emergency baby bag in your car (along with an actual emergency kit of course) will come in very handy!

3. Babies WILL cry....a lotThis is the only way they know how to communicate. All you can do is comfort them and give them what you think they need. Your instinct will kick in and you will know what to do once baby is here. Sometimes they'll need to be rocked to sleep, other times they'll just want the comfort of dad's arms. Regardless of what it is, don't freak out every time the baby cries. You'll know when it's something serious and, when in doubt, reach out to your closest veteran parent friends. My husband and I called the hospital one too many times in the first month for reasons we now can't stop laughing about.

4. Help your wife with the usual baby duties......this includes diaper changes, bottle making and even breast feeding. Breastfeeding is one of the toughest things to master for new moms and they'll need your help. Stay beside her and get her anything she may need, including lots of water since breastfeeding requires a lot of hydration. She may need help positioning the baby, checking for a correct latch from your vantage point or just a break while she uses the potty. A lot of moms want to try and do everything themselves. Don't be afraid to take on the 50/50 challenge of taking care of the baby!

5. Don't be afraid to leave the houseSure, the doctor recommends you stay indoors for a certain amount of time after delivery. Once you get the go ahead, get out and show your baby the world. Many couples think babies are too young to notice the animals at the zoo, the people at the mall or the kids at the playground. They actually notice A LOT more than you think and the expressions they'll make will be priceless. Traveling with baby is not the nightmare you've been told. Just be prepared and always leave the house with a stocked diaper bag, a stroller and a baby carrier when the stroller is not ideal.

For additional articles on parenting, pregnancy, health, nutrition and education, visit Ellie's contributor page at Playground Dad!

5 Ways to Spend Better Time with Your Kid

As a parent, we always wish we had 48 hours in the day instead of 24! More quality time with our kids would be a treat for any family! I know for me, between work, housekeeping, homework, dance, swim, karate and soccer, I hardly have time to think…and I only have one 3 year old! I honestly don’t know how some parents with 2 or more kids do it, especially working full time! This thought is what has sparked some creativity in me! I’ve had to come up with creative ways to get things done while also incorporating my kids into the activities to allow for quality family time! I wanted to “spend better time” with my kids! Below are some issues many of my mom & dad friends complain they “don’t have time for”. Try them out and see how your day CAN include your entire to do list and your kiddos too!

1. I can’t exercise, I don’t have time! Your kids LOVE to be outside (usually) so, take them out on their bikes, roller blades or skateboards and keep up with them with a slow jog. Your kids are too young to ride a bike, put them in a jogging stroller and get to pushin’! Not only will you get a good workout jogging but the pushing will tone your arms! Too hot or too cold to go outside, pop in a workout video or go online to some of the many sites that offer free, short daily workouts! Do them while your little ones are napping or early in the morning when your family is still catchin’ zzzs!

2. I don’t have time to cook It’s true, when you get home at 6pm, there’s hardly time to shower, not to mention busting out the cookbook and apron and sweating it out in the kitchen. After all, dinner is supposed to be at 6-7pm not 6-7am! So, why not take an hour or two out of your weekend and make dinners for the week! Freeze them up in different containers, label them Monday – Friday and pop them in the freezer. When you get home from work, soccer practice, parent conference or just come home early in tired, pop it in and your home cooked meal is ready in 2-5 minutes!

3. I don’t have time for myself Many parents, mostly moms but some dads too, complain they never have time for themselves. They don’t have time to get nails done, get their hair cut or just treat themselves with a well deserved massage. Well, many spas and salons offer packages for mommy & me and daddy & me! Take your kids and turn it into a bonding activity! It will make your little ones feel extra special, especially if there are siblings involved and they can each have their own day.

4. I need alone time with my spouse but don’t have anyone to watch my kids Well, that’s a problem many of us have. Recently some friends and I have gotten together and developed a calendar. Two to four times a month we have one of the parents watch all of the kids for 3-4 hours. The rest of the parents go out for a parents’ night out! We take turns so we all get our night out and our kids get the fun with friends they love! Local indoor gyms and studios like My Gym also offer Parents Nights Out. You pay a fee, usually between $25-35 per child (with siblings at a discount rate) and they’ll watch your kids for 3-4 hours, feed them dinner and show them a good time!

5. I don’t even have time to clean the house Ok, so, few kids like to clean but, it’s all part of growing up. We all have to learn to take care of our possessions and take pride in our home. Starting early and teaching kids to help out is not a crime nor will it hurt your child’s upbringing. If you have toddlers, teach them where their toys go and to put them away (with help from you in the beginning). If you constantly clean up after them, that’s all they’ll know and you’ll end up doing the cleaning for many years to come. Elementary age kids can be given an incentive to help out. They can earn an allowance like a salary that we earn at work. Their room should be clean without compensation since it’s their own space (like our house is ours and we have to maintain it). If they help out maintaining the rest of the home by dusting, vacuuming or cleaning some windows, reward them in some way. Activities are usually a good option to money, like a day at the park or a trip to your local museum! You can also check out www.myjobchart.com. It’s an excellent online chore chart that teaches your kids to earn, save & spend and best of all it’s FREE!

So, you didn’t think it was doable but it is! You just have to make do with what you have and get creative to spend better time!

The Parent Center also writes for Playground Dad! Check out his blog & our article there!

5 Ways to Spend Better Time with Your Kids

Things a Husband & Wife MUST Agree On

Marriage is by no means one of the easiest things in life. In fact, since approximately 50% end in divorce, it seems to be one of the toughest! Being married 10 years this December, my husband and I have surely been through our trials and tribulations but we've made it nonetheless. Marriage counseling helps even if you're not necessarily going through turmoil and it also provides a couple with tools on keeping their marriage in tact. While searching for parenting tips online, I cam across Mark Merrill's site and the 11 Things a Husband and Wife Must Agree On. Most of these should be agreed upon before becoming husband and wife! Print them out and see how much of many of these you and your spouse agree on. Sitting down to talk about these could be the answer to some of your troubles!